Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize