have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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