the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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