haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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