before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize