Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize