So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize