well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
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IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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