i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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