Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
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Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
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raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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