I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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