dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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