I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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