I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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