Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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