Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much

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  (817): So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much http://tfl.nu/mbp8
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (2078) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.

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  (240): Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates. http://tfl.nu/bvcb
  Replies (17) Good night (3603) Bad night (625)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"

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  (208): She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it" http://tfl.nu/kuso
  Replies (27) Good night (516) Bad night (4445) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.

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  (202): its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore. http://tfl.nu/f02f
  Replies (30) Good night (4133) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.

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  (609): Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares. http://tfl.nu/trym
  Replies (37) Good night (5102) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh. He liked you.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."

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  (970): Oh. He liked you. (970): Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado." http://tfl.nu/je5x
  Replies (22) Good night (1126) Bad night (3259)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"

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  (262): How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?" http://tfl.nu/pevk
  Replies (33) Good night (3172) Bad night (1127) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance

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  (815): I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance http://tfl.nu/h8yt
  Replies (28) Good night (5914) Bad night (1556) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.

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  (248): he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg. http://tfl.nu/hgt4
  Replies (24) Good night (1134) Bad night (4836) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny

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  (860): Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny http://tfl.nu/2672
  Replies (9) Good night (1882) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.

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  (518): She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands. http://tfl.nu/nkts
  Replies (5) Good night (1827) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore

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  (313): its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore http://tfl.nu/d5rl
  Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (1570)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.

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  (602): I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now. http://tfl.nu/tbsd
  Replies (24) Good night (2152) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha

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  (402): I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha http://tfl.nu/npx2
  Replies (9) Good night (1217) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!

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  (858): CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples! http://tfl.nu/mwbo
  Replies (7) Good night (1046) Bad night (252) Order T-Shirt

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