I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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