in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize