I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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