Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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