i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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