You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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