I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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