I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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