i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize