I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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