Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize