someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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