but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize