I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize