your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
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dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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