dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
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Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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