he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
soo... how was my night?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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