Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize