Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize