Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize