planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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