Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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