at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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