We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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