after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
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we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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