I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize