The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
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The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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