I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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