Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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