She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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