yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
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I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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