as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
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I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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