using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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