Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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